Sunday, February 28, 2016
Dad,
I hadn't cried for you dad, I'm sorry. I still believe Kathy will come home....so how could I then accept you being gone too. The loss we all face is crippling! AND has to be an evil joke god keeps playing!
This year's Grammys hosted a tribute to the late Glenn Frey- while watching the sound and screen just blurred together. It came out of nowhere! 'flooded with emotion, I sat alongside Krissy and sobbed.
Dad, you loved music and the Eagles were one of your favorites... To this day, and I can speak for most of us, whenever we hear The Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Willie Nelson or Bob Segar, we think of you. When I also hear Ricky Nelson or Neil Diamond I too think of you even before mom- which is funny because they are Krissy's two favorites. You didn't like 'em and made sure we all knew! Elvis too. That was you.... vocal.
You were mean to me for reasons I can only suspect. But, you were my dad. I tried to replace you through many many people, but no-one could ever compare. You were, you are MER afterall. MER the great. AND the 95% of you was/is greater than anyone could ever be. By all accounts that should be enough. It was enough- my anger wasn't as much as you but at the loss that keeps perpetuating in this god damn family- and I say that literally. It's the only thing that makes sense to me. We are damned, for fuck sake.
(and peanut gallery- STFU- I hadn't cared what you've said or thought before and I don't know. THIS IS Between me and my pop. SGFY.)
Dad, I'm sorry we never rode our bikes through Europe as we had talked. I'm sorry I never could take you to the Louvre in Paris. And I'm sorry for being as broken as I am.... but, a 11-12 year old boy needed his pop........ I don't know a great many things that's for sure, but the one thing I do know is that I'm Mike Rinaldi's kid.
I love you dad,
I'll see you soon.
